No Facebook for 30 days. So far so good. I have a routine. Wake up, feed cats, check email,
log in to facebook, check webstats, and read some news. Removing #3 wasnít that big a deal today. Iíve got so much work to do for the paid job that Iím working on a Sunday and on a holiday Monday. The needless distractions that the Facebook offers is less interesting than a DVD on the making of a movie.
Another Closed Captioning Crisis resolved. It didnít take that long, but it was a headache and a half. The solution was to use a standard DV timeline, turning off the Mercury Playback Engine of the NVIDIA card and to roll back the IEEE1394 driver to a pre-64bit legacy driver. It exponentially increased render times from HD to SD, but it worked. The captions via Firewire seem to be incredibly accurate and sharp. FRAMELINES is saved by the dilligent efforts of the Sonnyboo Intern Army and a google search.
So all the work done on the closed captioning over the last year has a major snag. There are Ďdropoutsí, meaning whole sentences that arenít making the cut. Because of broadcast standards and practices, this is unacceptable. Now I have to figure out how to fix it. Whilst working on my semi-annual biggest project that means I have to work 10-12 hour days. Not exactly the greatest distraction I was looking for, but it will suffice for now.
Great literature brings great comfort in times of need. ďDo not be afraid. Our hope cannot be taken from us; It is a giftĒ - or ďto him that is pitiless the deeds of pity are ever strange and beyond comprehensionĒ ring in my head and give illumination in the darkness of this time.
Every year I read J.R.R. Tolkien's Silmarillion. I donít just read it, I totally geek out and go into the BOOK OF LOST TALES, UNFINISHED TALES, and CHILDREN OF HURIN to make it a somewhat complete reading experience. This is both my favorite book of all time, and contains my singular favorite story of all time.
Taking a short break from the big edit job, I finished another podcast episode that was looming. Iíd been chipping away at this for weeks, a little bit each day. Itís still months behind schedule. I got it done and put it out today. I donít have time to market it as I normally would. That takes time and time is not my friend right now. The Adobe After Effects animation was simple enough.
After 2 weeks of solid recovery, my health just took a serious nosedive. Last night I went to the park for the 4 mile walk. It felt great, my stamina was up, my speed increased, and I thought it was an improvement. I get home, and my ankle was a little sore and it spiralled into the most painful attack of gout Iíve had in years. I couldnít sleep and none of my medications put a dent into the pain.
Edited my The Greater Columbus Arts Council (GCAC) and The Columbus Film Council (CFC) Media Arts Fellowship Grant DVD demo. Wow, that was a mouthful. I was a finalist last year, and this is only the 3rd year of these grants. Thereís three $1,500 grants and one $3,500 grants and none of the winners from the past 2 years can submit again yet, so mathematically, my odds have increased.
After the events of this past week and the startling self revelation, I have decided to take 30 days off Facebook. Starting September 1st, 2013, I will go the entire month without visiting or posting on the site. Life before social media seems like a dream. I need to prove to myself that I donít need it. I truly do want to change and be a better man.
I donít want to fight anyone anymore. I am trying so hard to have peace. I can ignore almost any insult from most. My ego destroyed, my sense of self worth diminished. Before that reads too depressing, Iím still somewhat positive. My spirit soars at the idea of hope, no matter how faint or far away.
Making movies is like going to war. There are generals, there are pawns, and equipment help the scope of a production. Iím going to war soon. I plan on fighting many battles, big and small. All of them will result in attrition and victory, love and hate, or history and oblivion. The enemy is yourself and the aforementioned ambition.
IMDB updated with some long overdue FRAMELINES credits. Been meaning to do this for months and months, finally got them entered. It helped me, as my free music makes it seem like I am primarily a Ďcomposerí, even though I am not composing any music for anyoneís movies. The PRODUCER and DIRECTOR credits for FRAMELINES bumps me up proper as a filmmaker again. Not that I was worried, but it is cool to see it corrected. More credits for the new episodes entered as well.
My mood is as indecipherable as an enigma deep fat fried and smothered in secret sauce at the moment. Today will go down as one of the most strange and confusing of my life. I am ecstatic, happy, sad, mourning, pleased, content, unhappy, wallowing, lamenting my age, happy with where I am, missing something, feeling accomplished yet completely dissatisfied with the amount I have finished.
I donít know if blind optimism is a side effect, but Iím going with it right now. Not a lot is bothering me at the moment. Iím chipping away at each little and big project a notch at a time. Whether itís shooting, planning a shoot, editing, working on images for the graphics, or simply walking in the park whilst letting my mind wander to ideas and creativity, itís all working towards the goal. Making more movies of any kind.
Got 3 new tech tip hosting segments shot yesterday. No, I have not lost any significant amount of weight even though Iíve increased my walking and running. Iíve even curbed my fried food and soda intake. Iím even lowering the total amount of food I eat. I am healthier on many levels, but the size isnít affected yet. I need to add free weights and upper body to make a dent methinks. The delicate balance is not wanting to be vain whilst also trying to look good for camera.
Rambled in my editing like my mind was on fire. Couldnít stay with any one project for more than a few minutes at a time. I had to jump around from After Effects to Photoshop to Premiere. I walked a few miles, talked on the phone a lot and wanted to come to terms with where my head and my heart are taking me. I had one of those moments of clarity. I have found a deal of peace in acceptance.
Getting back into the groove. I should have some new material finished and out there in the next few days. I feel great again. I took that depression and kicked its ASS. Now Iím going to take malaise out back and beat it with a tire iron. Is it actually a good thing to have metaphorical violence against concepts and emotions?
NOW my head is getting back into the game! I came up with a few concepts and ideas for things Iíve been struggling with for a while. Something as basic as a faux scene for a FRAMELINES demonstration video. I came up with 3 scenarios and those can get shot REALLY fast and soon. Having FRAMELINES has me really jazzed right now. Itís invigorating to see it being broadcast on TV and also hear about people catching it.
After a good nights sleep, I feel much better, if that means I had insomnia from sleeping all day and my ass hurts as I run out of pain killers which helped me sleep. I almost edited. I came really close. I had the program open and looked at footage. Then I was distracted by the color blue for about 10 minutes and had to take a nap.
Even with percocets, I canít sleep. Had a little medical procedure last night, so sitting is mildly uncomfortable and I need to take a day to recover. The doctors say I should be fine by tomorrow if not later tonight. I am greatly relieved to put this behind me. I feel like my body has terrorized me enough for the last year or so.