NOW my head is getting back into the game! I came up with a few concepts and ideas for things Iíve been struggling with for a while. Something as basic as a faux scene for a FRAMELINES demonstration video. I came up with 3 scenarios and those can get shot REALLY fast and soon. Having FRAMELINES has me really jazzed right now. Itís invigorating to see it being broadcast on TV and also hear about people catching it.
After a good nights sleep, I feel much better, if that means I had insomnia from sleeping all day and my ass hurts as I run out of pain killers which helped me sleep. I almost edited. I came really close. I had the program open and looked at footage. Then I was distracted by the color blue for about 10 minutes and had to take a nap.
Even with percocets, I canít sleep. Had a little medical procedure last night, so sitting is mildly uncomfortable and I need to take a day to recover. The doctors say I should be fine by tomorrow if not later tonight. I am greatly relieved to put this behind me. I feel like my body has terrorized me enough for the last year or so.
FRAMELINES is being loaded on the PBS server so other stations can air the episodes. Weíre discussing the wrap party plans tomorrow. 16 episodes done. Thatís huge. Weíve got material for a few more episodes. Iím going to start plotting out the segments and finalizing episodes soon for that.
Trying to remain positive is the hardest thing right now. From the moment I wake up to when I lay my head on my lumpy pillow; I am struggling to stay optimistic. Today was a much better day. No reason at all why it should be. A lot of things went bad terrible wrong today, and yet I was in a better place. Maybe it was laying on my bed with the cats, or maybe it was talking to a lot of old friends on the phone, or maybe it was the way I slept on my arm. Who knows? What matters is that my attitude has taken a turn towards the affirmative.
Going to speak at the Adobe Users Group. The topic Iím speaking on will be organization. This week that will be incredibly ironic given the disarray my personal and professional life is in, but at least there will be some cosmic humor in it. Some celestial beings can mock my struggles as I move across the chessboard that is life.
I have been letting my dreams affect me a lot lately. Analyzing what the riddles mean, acting on alleged information I glean from feelings. Last weekend I had a truly disturbing dream, one that has haunted my waking life. I canít get it out of my head, no matter what I do. I think I know now what it means, and soon I will have to have a hard talk with a good friend.
Got all 16 episodes of FRAMELINES on tape with Closed Captions. Delivering them on Monday morning for broadcast. Itís a huge deal to have the entire first season delivered and airing, plus a few new episodes. Thatís 8 hours of content created total. Thatís a lot of material any way you look at it.
As miserable as I felt last night, I went and taught an editing seminar for the Westerville Public Library. Teaching a lot at the school, as well as years of editing classes Iíve taught meant I could sleep walk through this kind of thing. I didnít, as I always get jazzed when I teach. It could wake me from a coma to teach about the things I love. I just wish I could put into practice the things I taught.
I had no idea just how subjective reality can be. How 2-3 people can see the same exact same thing and remember it entirely different. It reminds me of the great Akira Kurasawaís movie RASHOMON. That movie spawned a great deal of knock offs and still does. Itís the same story from 4 points of view and more gets revealed every time. The influence of Kurasawa over cinema history can never be underestimated.
There are parts of human psychology that make no sense to me. I feel like an alien until times when the most mundane and petty emotions affect me the same as the other rats in the maze. As it is, I cannot help but be touched and I have to keep moving like a shark in the water. I want to be a better man. The constant struggle to be something more than I am has setbacks. The next set of movies have to be made lest I wallow in the dark places for too long and it envelops me.
I am in pain. In waves, inside and out, I get aches and pains. From a charlie horse to wake me up to the stomach pains, to bleeding and soreness from MRSA, I am in bad shape. I am trying to keep my attitude up and on the positive. Why is it the only thing that brought me any real joy in the last week was using deductive reasoning to surmise on someone elseís suffering?
Editing is the perfect blend of math and art. Timing is everything. Feeling the rhythm of actors speaking (or not speaking), controlling that beat with the cuts, realigning reality to suit your patterns. All of this is made possible with editing and having several angles to work with, even if itís only 2 shots.
Not only did I get the shot, but I went through hell motion tracking a title into it. Argh! The latest Cell Phone Monologue is complete. I danced the ceremonial Dance of the Finished Edit as required by the editorial gods along with a ritual sacrifice of Peanut Butter Capín Crunch. Now at long last, I can cut my Film Festival supercut of 3 monologues together!
We finally got the opening shot to the last Cell Phone Monologue last night. The sun shined, the rain stopped, the dolly worked, and we nailed it. My gout had passed (after taking Colchicine 3 times, and a few percocet for pain). I tried to motion track my titles in and I keep hitting a wall. I can crack it, this just takes time. Maybe soon Iíll be able to knock that out.
I tried to explain something to a student the other day. I wanted to see her try to put her heart and soul into a video project. Thereís that state of mind, almost a trance, where nothing else in the world exists except for the creation of whatever you have in your head as a substantial piece that others can watch and see your intent clearly.
Clearly, I did not win an Emmy. It was such a great night, though. To see so many of my friends win, that was worth it all right there. I have no bitter grapes over the experience. To be with people I like, having such fun, makes for a memorable time. I know that this was good because after those first couple minutes of disappointment, I never really thought about it much after that. I spent all day Sunday alone, doing little, and it never entered my mind.
Here it is. The Emmyísô. I got my tickets, a suit, a haircut, and a lovely young woman to attend with me in lieu of my co-creator. Yesterday at lunch at Pei Mei, my fortune cookie clearly stated that I will soon receive something I covet. So either thatís the Emmyô or a slice of really good chocolate cake. Fortune cookie aside, I have to dissuade myself from thinking Iím going to win. Itís my first submission ever. I just need to soak in the experience as it is regardless of a likely loss.
Ideas ferment over time. I think writing in a group simply expedites that process. I have had a feature film script that I havenít written a single page for, but have been mulling over for years now. If I donít collaborate with other writers, the ideas simply have to ferment like a wine in my own head.
Ridley Scott was 42 when he directed ALIEN in 1979. Robert Altman was 43 when he directed M*A*S*H. Richard Donner was 48 years old when he directed SUPERMAN in 1978. I had built up in my head that I was too old to make a feature film. I was only going to make ACCIDENTAL ART and quit, at least features. I donít feel like that right now. I will keep making movies for the rest of my life.