Okay, Łber excited. Shooting in just a few short hours. Nice prime lenses, tricked out camera rig, a fairly new crew, and a mixed cast of new and old faces. I always get excited for shooting days. Already prepping another Podcast series shoot, and two more of these for next week. Gonna keep rocking the shoots and get the post production pipeline loaded up.
Tomorrow, I shoot again. Ploy thus far successful. Time to wake up, get up, and stand up. Scouting a location last night. Holy cow is it awesome. This will be the kind of thing that looks better than most of what I do. All the DPís who turned down this gig are gonna regret it when they see the footage. All 2 of them!
Sleeping in felt great. Time to tackle a myriad of projects today. Client edit, finalizing other edits, and prep for the shoot on Sunday. Life doesnít suck when thereís something to do and people to do it with. I love making movies. Itís rare that doesnít fill me with some degree of joy. Although, it has happened on occasion.
Things come together sometimes, even a last minute kinda project. I have some final details to work out, but Sunday looks to be a Fun Day of shooting and film stuff. Doing something will feel amazing. I need to stretch my film legs a little. Time remains my enemy though.
I need less stress. So much in my life right now just wants to rip me apart. My body fails me. People disappoint me. I let myself down too. I cling to tiny moments, those wonderful bits where time stands still and joy enters. It could be something so simple as a kitten licking my beard, or tasting the perfection of flavors of Coca Cola mixed with tomato sauce on the toasted crust of Pizza from my old home town, or even the smile of a woman in the car next to me on the road. Even when 99% of my time creates a misery, I take solace in these brief moments of joy.
Been sick for several days now. Gout and MRSA combined into an all encompassing funk that my body could not fight and my insides have paid the hefty price. Got all my judging done for the 48 Hour Film Project and turned in my results. Taught a lot on video/film today before nearly passing out. My brain is all over the map.
Today was not much better. Lots of pain, a little medication, a bit of sleep here and there, plus some work that could not be denied. Editing ainít easy when youíre in pain and can barely keep your eyes open. Even worse, I have an early Ante Meridiem class starting this week. Canít wait to limp my way into the school and meet with clients this way!
Hereís what a Friday night shouldnít be: Get home from work exhausted, feed the army of cats, have a swollen pinky from MRSA hurt so bad you canít move your hand, try to sleep only to have gout in your big toe wake you out of your sleep in so much pain only to find you have no pain killers, canít get down the stairs to get the medication, and also see you have blood all over your sheets from the aforementioned MRSA and you canít walk to go wash them so you wind up sleeping on the floor with a single blanked from your closet only to have the also aforementioned cats wake you up every hour.
Welcome to my exciting new life.
A surprise, unexpected 13 hour teaching day derailed a lot of my plans for yesterday. Even so, I made 4 film festival submissions for several short films, as far as Japan. Shipping DVDís and uploading festival edits to Vimeo with passwords for the rest (saves $$$ this way, cool new trend for fests). Been too long since Iíve done this kind of thing. I used to do it all the time, and Sonnyboo movies played somewhere in the world every month. I donít know when that stopped being a motivator for me. Doesnít matter now because itís important to me again.
FINALLY! The muse started to come back to me. I forgive you, baby. Just take care of your big poppa. Itíll be different this time, I swear. Getting all kinds of ideas, from lines of dialogue to snippets of visuals, to full on screenplays, and entire movies wholesale. I like to take advantage of these serendipitous moments. Even if itís just writing down everything Iím seeing in my head or if itís shooting a facsimile and narrating it for myself (I canít draw).
Location scouting, prop building, and costuming consume my mind for a simple :45 second clip. Taking the time to work this out, ask around, work on this kind of thing, even subconsciously, keep my brain alive. Rolling this into something cool and fun; thatís what I like to do. All it takes is the teeniest of impetus to start the fire.
And the pendulum swings back my way a little...Sometimes patience pays off. Yesterday began as a fairly unproductive time and quickly spiralled into several fronts of my personal, professional, and other areas getting a lot further.
Slowly, I keep whittling away at my list of things to do. This all encompassing list includes film/video projects, work for clients, hobbies, housework, and movies/TV shows to watch. Getting a little bit done at a time almost every day helps make the pile lower, although I have a habit of adding to it all the time. My obsessive-compulsive tendencies get placated when I finish off a job. Itís the mental equivalent to a money shot when I finish a project.
Boy oh Boy, screening movies again this month and getting Marieís Pizza. It will be a good day. Going to hit the gym before the festivities. Gotta earn them carbs. Got a lot of prep work done on some DVD burning, delivery of shows to various outlets, and soon to get going on finalizing a new episode of FRAMELINES. Along with the end of some paid edits, Iím doing okay with my workload.
Trying to edit yesterday posed an interesting problem. Itís hard to stay focused on the job when youíre bleeding so much your jeans get a red stain. Thinking about in and out points gets pushed out of your brain as you worry about running out of bandages, which I did and had to go home to edit, which lead to an impromptu nap session after washing out a wound, disinfecting it and re-wrapping it. I was light headed and fell on my stairs, so I decided a little sleep was in order. My life kinda sucks right now, but Iím rediscovering my sense of humor.
Iíve been binge watching the TV series CASTLE. Weirdly, I donít like it but I canít stop watching it. Itís that type of show where they place the emphasis on the Mystery of the Week over the never ending, incredibly unfulfilling sexual tension between the two leads. The producers/writers clearly applied the lessons learned from MOONLIGHTING and wanted to throwback to that show and prolong the payout of a relationship for as long as possible. By now, weíve all learned that once you give up that tension, the show generally dies.
What an odd contradiction of physical and emotional responses I have at the moment. Iím burned out and inspired at the exact same time. I have things I need to do, want to do, and finishing them feels both good but just opens the door to the rest of what is left undone awaiting me. And yet I am working to finish all these video projects on my plate. I cannot NOT do them.
Going to try a new approach to a couple shoots coming up. Iíve got another greenscreen podcast shoot I wrote last night. The previous two did pretty well, so I think more things like that are in order. They are quick to shoot, quick to edit, play with After Effects a bit, then upload and done. The fact that these are semi-educational helps me justify.
Had a bad experience burning a Blu Ray. Trying to make the Cell Phone Monologues festival 1080p disc and it crapped out with the ISO file. So I guess I have to make it in Adobe Encore and no where else. Hmmm. I have a small tolerance for technical difficulties right now. Those are riddles I derive little pleasure from solving at the moment. Still, I solved it.
I have some big decisions to make soon. Each directions is fraught with peril, upsides and downsides, but always with risk. Neither option has an immediate change; both will take a year or two to come to fruition after long periods of work. Contrary to some, I am a very patient man. I just have to choose the road and stay on it for a long while.