I held off on mentioning this before, but since it’s now happened THRICE, I feel comfortable saying so. I went to the gym. Thrice. This is something your narrator has never done before. I have gotten huge, and I’m definitely seeing a lot of weight on my personage. I’m long overdue in taking care of it. My obsessive compulsive disorder has prevented me from being more active physically because I would set goals and in the middle of trying to achieve them, I’d set some other goal thus perpetuating a situation where I never did anything. 
I’ve cracked the nut. I found the one physical activity outside of sex that I enjoy and its swimming. Getting in the pool and swimming laps or even just getting under the water and swimming without a care in the world. I can’t stand jogging or even walking because I get bored, so that has never helped me. With swimming I don’t get bored, and even stranger I get a sense-memory flashback to a time when I spent my childhood at the Steiner Youth Recreation Center in Wadsworth Ohio like a fish all year round. Let’s face it; I’m in piss poor shape right now. I get worn out after a few short laps, but 5 nights a week of this I’ll be in better shape in no time.
The new UNCLE PETE short is done and online. It’s the 4th one of 8 and to me they get better as they go. My prediction? It may take 6 months, but these will pick up steam as they sit out there. Someone will discover them and send it to someone; they will send it to 3-4 someone’s; next thing you know it’ll go wide. The audiences are people in the 30’s with kids that hate children’s programming because they have to watch that crap all the time. There’s also the college crowd that appreciate the sarcasm. These are NOT for everyone. So far, the most unique responses were a group of liberals AND conservatives on one site that took the video series way too seriously. The other most unique one was this from AIN’T IT COOL NEWS:
Dude, I clicked on this with my 4 year old daughter standing behind me.
She was with Uncle Petey until he said Sharing was bad,
Then she had this look on her face like I just slapped her momma.
To which I was both horrified and equally amused. I have a few other marketing surprises once I get all 8 completed. I have an “in” with Stephen Colbert, so I’ll do what I can to get these in his hands. I have a few ideas of what that can do. Maybe I should send these to Rush Limbaugh or Bill O. to see if they’ll endorse Uncle Pete’s Play Time…
Someone recently called me a “fag”. I’m just curious, is this supposed to be an insult? Seems more like a lifestyle choice or something you’re born with, not really a tear down. I’m not a homosexual, but if I were, I’d be pretty open about my cocksucking or anal sex adventures with hairy men. I think my blog would have a different timbre, but basically the same. When I was in junior high, being called a “fag” seemed to carry more weight. In the world we live in today, it seems like some prejudice person calling me that says more about their own insecurities than it does insult me. I look at it as such a foreign thing that I liken it to saying “Hey, you like the color orange!” or “Hey you were born with blonde hair.” So I don’t find it to be insulting, just confusing.
Aside from these things, not much else to report. I’m behind on my edits for work. I’m still plugging away on a teaser trailer for ETERNAL, and I’m editing the stuff from Birmingham Alabama. FYI to those readers who want to know, Darell D-Day is a great cameraman. His stuff was exactly what I asked for, plus the other camera op named Hunter came through, so I have a good looking lot of footage.
My brain is fried and the body is taking a punishment it’s never had before. Three times to the gym in 4 days when you’ve never been to the gym before in your life has a pretty interesting set of side effects. I’m way sleepier at an earlier time. Meals seem more like a necessity rather than a fun, tasty thing to do. My arms are sore and it hurts to pick up simple objects like a pencil or a cable, or a Brandy-Weasel.
For those people who read this blog and find it pretentious or “gay” {see 3 paragraphs earlier}, let me explain. I write this for about 12-20 people that are actually my friends on various sites/cities I’ve taken to the online journal, blogging route to keep my actual friends abreast of what’s going on in my life and career or any curious filmmaker types wanting to get some information on my process of marketing/promotion etc. Instead of keeping touch via email and writing the same thing over and over again, It’s easier and someone else bought the domain name PeterJohnRoss.com and I just write for the site. I’m not writing to this alleged mass audience, as it’s not there. There are some curious people checking in every now & then, but then there are the others.
I’m terrified at the site stats the Google Analytics affords me, as there are some obsessive weirdoes that I don’t know and am definitely not writing to these freaks that read my writings far too often to be considered mentally or emotionally healthy.
It’s flattering on some levels, but mostly it’s just creepy and weird. If you aren’t one of the illustrious 12-20 actual friends from various sites, then I really think you need to question what you’re getting from reading these things. Some industrious no budget filmmaker types do glean useful marketing or other information, but who I’m referring to are the psychos that obsess and read these, then go coo-koo-kracy-for-cocoa-puffs and maybe call another one of their buddies and talk about my blogs like they just read someone making a lesbian interpretational nude dance performance art piece in Iran.
Just to clarify, If you’re reading this and getting information on filmmaking you were interested in, then keep reading. If you are a friend and want to know what I am up to since I have gone a little more Kubrickian with my public appearances, then read on. If you’re reading this 12-13 times a day, living in Westerville or Pickerington or Sunbury, then good GOD, please find something better to do with your time. NO ONE can find anything worth reading more than once a day. Get a pet or help the elderly, or do something a little more worthwhile. I feel like L. Ron Hubbard and I’m unintentionally having a religion based on me because the psychos are so devout.
In the name of Allah, lick the lesbian love spot in the name of Sonnyboo,
Peter John Ross
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