I’m not really going to address many ridiculous allegations from someone who seems to solely want some kind of acknowledgement or narcissistic supply. And wanting my attention or talking about me seems to be his main interest in life.
Instead, I will simply write a blog similar to how I used to write, just talk about what I’ve been doing these past few months. During the pandemic, like tens of millions of Americans, my work was nonexistent and I partook of PUA (Pandemic Unemployment Assistance) and also use a PPP loan to survive. PUA expired months ago and I’ve been working pretty steady since. I have regular clients and a new job, so I have not suffered from a lack of income.
Now that all went to hell in a few days back in November when my cat Lorenzo got sick. His liver was jammed up with “sand” as the emergency vet called it. Anyone who has ever used MedVet emergency services will know, it ain’t cheap and money is owed before they lift a finger to help your pet.
I drained every penny of my savings account, I maxxed out my credit cards, and did everything I could to save Lorenzo and that covered only the first two days. Days three and four required more money than I had on hand. I reached out to friends and family for help and ran a GoFundMe for the rest. To my ever lasting shock, everyone stepped up. People who have hated on me put forth cash to save my cat. It was one of the most heartfelt moments I think I’ll ever have, seeing so many help me out as they did in my moment of need.
And it wasn’t just the money for that moment, there were meds for Lorenzo, there were follow up visits, blood work, and ultrasounds and X-rays for weeks to make sure he recovered. All of that costs many thousands of dollars and I paid for that myself. Because I’m still working and I still get paid, and what happened before was an emergency, not really a permanent condition. I spent more on Lorenzo in 4 days than I spent on my last car. The GoFundMe only covered less than half the expenses. I covered the rest and continue to pay for his care.
As my long time readers will recall, I used to live in El Paso, Texas. I had not been back in exactly 30 years. I have a lot of bad memories there. Some good ones too, some of the best, but it was a dark time in my life. I was compelled to return for a specific reason. My brother died of brain cancer a few years ago and the family has sat on his ashes ever since, not sure where to best put him to rest. I had the idea that everyone unanimously agreed upon – at the site of his former fraternity house. That was where he was happiest and his brief tenure as president of the SAE frat was the high point of his entire life.
So my family used their free points to fly me there and get a rental car. I covered my AirBnB and other expenses myself. I spent a long weekend visiting old sites, seeing places and people I had not seen for three decades. I shot a lot of footage because I may or may not choose to do something with that. I haven’t decided.
Anyone who knows me that my religion is film, my church is my home theater. Barely under two years ago I purchased a 70″ Vizio 4K TV with HDR. By some fluke, the TV bricked during a software update. I was distraught, thought this was the end. I had NO MONEY to buy a new TV. What was I to do? The altar from which I prayed to the Netflix Gods would become angry and smite me for my dishonor of watching without Dolby Vision High Dynamic Range, and my 4K Blu Rays would sound good with 7.1 TrueHD Dolby Surround, but I was already mocked by the Lord for not having true Dolby Atmos surround!
I looked it up and I had purchased this TV 21 months prior and on the receipt was something I rarely if ever splurge for – the EXTENDED WARRANTY…. meaning no matter what – I could get the full purchase price replacement FOR FREE. I called, checked, then researched what was in stock and I was even able to upgrade to a 75″ LG 4K TV with HDR and all the apps for the same price. HELL YES, it was on like Donkey Kong, but not 16-bit, full HDR10+ colors.
I put on my credit card the extended warranty (Hell yes after this experience). I then wanted to upgrade my Sony Receiver, no longer willing to accept Dolby TrueHD 7.1 like some pauper on the street, no sir. I needed true Dolby Atmos, the sound of GOD HIMSELF booming through two separate subwoofers placed throughout the home theater room.
As is usually the case, I have inherited my father’s frugal nature. I am on the hunt for a DEAL. I found a store return from Amazon Warehouse. If I was willing to put up with a giant gash upon the top of the unit, I could get an upgraded Dolby Atmos Surround Receiver from Sony for 65% off. But how to pay for such an extravagance? Even with the enormous discount, I only had but a few sheckles. in my account.
Would I have to resort to some kind of scam? Would I pretend Lorenzo was going to lose his other liver? Would I post some kind of con job to get people to donate to me again?
Of course not. I my old Sony Receiver for MORE than the cost of the new one on eBay. I actually profited upgrading.
So what have we learned today? That my cat really was sick and people were happy to help me out, especially since it turned out we saved Lorenzo, my dear sweet little boy. My love for my cats will never be a scam. I would give up my house to save one of my cats if I had to. Luckily, I don’t have to. I have a job and continue to make money, so I can afford to live normally.
I am not unemployed. I only collected when it was necessary and it allowed me the time and luxury to edit on my documentary. I put a call out to PAY assistant editors, not interns. No one worked out. I did it all myself. Well, me and my long time editing team John and Joanne Fromes, my imaginary friends. For 22 years, I loath seeing my name over and over again in credits to a movie I made. There are few things I detest more than one of those “a film by ________” credits because so many people work on a film to make it happen. No one person makes a film, any film. So I made up a family of fake people in 2001 to credit things I didn’t feel I needed to take credit for on my own films. I was inspired by the Coen brothers and their “editor” Roderick Jaynes. In the end, some other people did assist in the edit, at least with suggestions and ideas and it was a lot of fun collaborating remotely.
I didn’t actually spend any money on a new TV, but through being a responsible adult, was able to replace my TV for free and then upgrade my sound to luxurious Dolby Atmos without spending a dime.
And I didn’t have to pay much money at all to spread my brother’s ashes in El Paso.
Honestly, I’ve become somewhat more private of late. I stopped writing these blogs because I suffer no delusion of being a public figure or that anyone wants to read this. I have long since been spending more time with actual people and talking to my friends so much more, I have no need to vent or write here as much, if at all. My life has been so much better and fulfilling lately. I’m not in need of much of anything anymore. There is so much love and kindness surrounding me that it has inspired me to be a better man and I am better now. Not perfect, no. But better than I was and getting better every day.
So if you are one of my friends who happens upon this blog, I want you to know that I am grateful. You have been a part of my journey into being a better person. I love you for who you are and hope that you can see me soon so I might better express my appreciation in person.
If you are someone who perceives themselves as my enemy, here to dig for information or something they can use against me, have at it. You are in a fight with yourself, not me. You are projecting all of your flaws onto a straw man that you have named Peter John Ross that does not resemble the reality of who I am. I hope you find some kind of peace in your life, but you will not find it here. You will not find anything you are looking for here.
I am not who I was 10 years ago or 20 years ago. I am who I am today because of people like you. I found out who I don’t want to be and that is what I was like then. I wish you nothing but the best on your own journey. May you find some form of serenity in knowing that it’s never too late to change, never too late to rebuild and start over. I am about to turn 50 years old and this past year, year and half has taught me more than the past 15 years combined. I am over the moon with joy, positivity, and the karma that keeps paying me back over and over for the changes I’ve made for the better.
If you’re one of “those” people that has come back to re-read this blog, then you have to admit to yourself you have a problem. You only needed to read this once. You came back because of a compulsion, one that might not be under your control. I implore you to seek mental health help. I talked to a therapist last year and it really helped me through a tough time.
Wait…. you came back again? To quote Ferris