Backsliding sucks. When something like your health, your emotional state, your finances, or your creativity starts to wade back into negativity, how can you avoid the jaws of despair? What makes today any different than 6 months ago? I don’t know, but I’m at least not slowing down the creative side, or the positive thoughts for the most part. I think I can hold back the bad stuff for a bit. Just as my finances have gotten a little slow, BAMM! Some work shows up. When I thought that I was not connecting to a class, WHAMM! I make some headway and get through. As the creative drought seemed to have choked the life out of me, OUILA! The dam burst open and now there aren’t enough hours in a day to pack in all the work I have in front of me.
On the flipside, my mind still wanders and I feel pangs. I have no idea what sets this off. There was no inciting incident, nothing seen or done that could bring my mind to these thoughts. Even so, it doesn’t feel so bad. I’m not particularly sad or upset, nor even numb. I just feel… regret? Maybe the right word is curious? I wonder sometimes about things. Who reads this blog? (aside from the psychotic stalker people who are looking for secret messages, like Charlie Manson found in the Beatles White Album).
And then I get bored, and get back to work.
Another shoot is scheduled for next week. The new webseries will take off in about a month or so. We’ll have 35 episodes. I plan on releasing them once a week or so, and that means almost a year’s worth of content.
I started to put the idea of the CELL PHONE MONOLOGUES out there for other people to make them and do them. I intended to do this over a year ago. I didn’t. The depression and other factors conspired to…. ah hell, it’s just that I didn’t do it, that’s all. Someone even approached me over a year ago, sent me a script and all – wanted to make their own, get the ball rolling and I failed – EPIC FAIL – did not let that inspire me, get my out of the funk (Sorry Chris, I should have been more attentive).
That time has passed. I won’t let myself fall into those pits again. I want to shake back off the bad habits that try to re-enter my world. I keep carving out the time for doing the projects. I will find time to see more movies and relax too.
I will not give up, not yet.
YOUTUBE CLIP FOR PJR BLOG: