In some ways I love being 40 years old. I’m riding life on the edge of the old world and the new one. I’m not too old to get computers, TXT, and social media but I’m also old enough to remember life when relationships were less virtual and a conversation didn’t entail staring down at a phone mid sentence. I had a very odd experience the other day. I got an email from someone, an acquaintance, as in someone I really don’t know well at all. We’ve spoken literally maybe 2-3 times ever. In this message, which is so hard to read tone and intent in words, especially from someone you don’t know, I was told that this blog and Facebook are NOT my friends or therapists and that I should not present myself so personally.
I do apologize for my bluntness and honesty, no matter how personal. I can only recommend that if you don’t like it, then don’t read it. I see far too many people that create such total delusions of such a fantastic life via their Facebook page. I know these people, you have men and women who hate their spouse with such a fervor, but you’d never know it by the “I have the greatest husband/wife” posts on Facebook.
What is it in the past 13-14 years of my Internet history makes people think I care what anyone thinks about me? No one writes what I write and thinks everyone will love me for it. I don’t mind being seeing for what I really am – greatly flawed. I don’t see black or white, just all kinds of gray. I’m not a saint. My life is far from perfect. If projecting the reality prevents someone from wanting to work with me or support my movies, so be it. Win some and lose some. I’m not trying to win a popularity contest.
At the same time, I greatly respect that this person reached out to me and actually said something. So few do. I average about 9,000 unique views of my blog a month, mostly from the United States, and about 75% from Ohio. There is a single individual in St. Claire Shores in Michigan who reads my blog pretty religiously that has never emailed me, but seems to really like it alot. Powell Ohio also has 1-2 pretty avid readers. And whoever it is in Fullerton, California – seriously, with the weather you have out there – please spend more time in the sunshine as my apparent crisis aren’t that interesting. And given that the break up seems to be the most popular topic and keyword search – I’m fairly certain by the analytic data that even my ex herself is more than an occasional reader Ye Olde Blog.
Maybe I should be less personal. It’s just I have found the total honesty and humility to be more therapeutic than therapy. Ironically, this blog and posting links on Facebook really are a better therapist. But at what cost? I appreciate the reminder to consider such things. Anyone out there reading this, feel free to drop me a line and share your thoughts as well. It may or may not spark a blog.