I’m dying to get some real time off. Drowning in edits for clients, teaching multiple classes for 13 hour days several times a week. I don’t hate it. Somehow, I always find energy when I need it in the classroom or the studio. It’s in the after that I falter. No time to get to my own stuff. I’ve got several things in the hopper to get shot and edited. As much as I am about quality over quantity these days, if I take time to examine what I’m doing and finishing, it’s still a lot of material. 
12-13 years ago, all I did was make movies, non-stop. I was creating all the time. I was basically unemployed and doing freelance edits, so free time was in abundance. My work was learning effects and editing for clients. I challenged myself at every turn.
I still want to challenge myself today. I don’t like shooting or making anything if I can’t learn something, really anything. I still have miles to go as a filmmaker. I’m not done learning or experimenting.
The reason I love making movies over music was because I am evolving perpetually. It’s a process that I will never finish and the pursuit is the reward. With music, I hit a plateau I set for myself. That brought a contentment that basically ended my interest in music. Movies on the other hand, they never stay the same. Styles, genres, concepts, and execution mutate over time based on the public perception of multimedia.
When we reach the end of this year, I will have amassed much finished work. And yet, I feel like I’m failing, not even coming close to my goals.
Life is beating me down like a hedgehog, and I still manage to make and release new material. Circumstances conspire to rob me of my free time, yet shoots get shot. As soon as I reach a certain threshold of finished product, then my marketing will kick in again.
I found it interesting that someone worked with me the other day solely because I market my work. He silently peruses the online forums for filmmakers and knew the name Sonnyboo. Maybe I’ve changed, but I am not what he expected personality wise or in terms of how I am to work with.
Shit changes.
“We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got because it doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not; We’ve got each other and that’s a lot “
― Bon Jovi
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