I deleted the link to Facebook from my shortcuts. It was just too easy to accidentally hit it. I mean actually accidental, not I’m pretending it’s an accident so I can cheat accident either. I feel like I just locked myself in a closet. It’s terrifying how much Facebook was mistaken for actual human interaction. I’m barely past the 36 hour mark and already I have no idea what is going on in the lives of people I vaguely know that I don’t care enough about to use my phone to call. At least I’ve got my stories to occupy some free time today and tomorrow. Newsroom, Dexter, and Breaking Bad all make my Monday-Tuesday nights much better. I almost tried to watch Boardwalk Empire into the mix, but it’s still a little tender. Jesus, I cannot even imagine what next spring is going to be like with 24 coming back. Watching Jack Bauer and Chloe alone? That idea just seems wrong to me. What can I say? I’m sentimental.

Staying off Facebook for a month is an empty gesture. It’s not like I’m curing cancer or doing something particularly good. And yet it is a challenge. Avoiding my instincts and changing my patterns entirely, these are good things. In many other areas of my life that has worked out better for me, so why not this too?

Maybe I’m stir crazy already, but I’m slap-happy. I giggle at the dumbest things. Whether it’s Lorenzo sleeping on my bed and falling off because his butt is half off the side or the neighbor kid running full tilt and taking a nose dive as he screamed “I’m batman! I’m batman!” in a thick Spanish accent, I’m finding some serious laughs out loud, and not in that flippant “LOL” parlance of the Internet, I mean I laughed in an audible way.

Saw a movie in the theater. I do most things by myself these days. I don’t believe I’d make great company to, well, humanity. Unless someone wants to discuss the intricacies of Cineform’s NeoScene Codec compression scheme or the inner workings of the production staff of a TV series that’s been off the air for 9 years, I doubt I have much to say of interest.

12-13 years ago, I readied myself for a life alone. I was prepared and accepting of that. I guess the difference now is I had a taste of sharing a life and the benefits therein. Combine that with an ailing health with no one here to help, and I am saddened. Having MRSA come back so regularly, and so intensely, reminds me of less than happy times. Especially when medical professionals remind me constantly that it can be life threatening.

Still, there are some great moments in life. I find I watch the sunset more often. I just soak in the rays, watch the clouds move and the orange globe lower itself below the horizon. I love walking in the parks. Trees sway and sometimes an animal will move in my path, like last night a family of skunks crossed in front of me. I almost broke down at the site of that. No idea why. It was beautiful beyond words.

“Let them see that the important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself.”
– Gore Vidal

Categories: blog

Peter John Ross

A filmmaker, a dreamer, and the world's only Dan Akroyd Cosplayer


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