And life rolls on. ‘Connecting’ with people virtually through a machine via sites like Facebook isn’t really connecting as much as a filtered interface where you can pretend to be something you aren’t to impress people who are equally creating a facade. Now I don’t have a girlfriend or a family or kids to fill my time, so sadly I miss the superficial relationships because they are better than nothing. Or are they? It doesn’t help that I am somewhat ill, buried in work projects, and the aforementioned lack of significant other. I’ve been so buried in the virtual relations I have no clue where to begin to rebuild real life ones.
I don’t have a place in the world, not anymore. I’m not one of the cool kids, but I’m not one of the dorks either. I’m not a sinner anymore, but I don’t belong anywhere near the saints. I don’t fit in anywhere, but no one wants me anyway.
Before anyone reads this as too despondent, I’m merely trying to figure out where I am before I know where I’m headed. The first step in getting out of a problem is acknowledging you have one. I’m trapped in between worlds.
Where do I go from here? Where do I fit in?
“Only love is all maroon, gluey feathers on a flume”
― Bon Iver