I can’t get my head back in it. I have things to do, a long list of projects, and I can’t seem to get my brain back into the mode of doing any of it. I’m all alone in this dark place, like I’m locked in a basement with no windows. No, this isn’t about Facebook. That’s just an illusion of connectivity whereas it really just separates people from actual human interaction, the kind we all need to survive. All my vacation from Facebook has done was reveal how superficial my connection to people was. It accentuated what I already felt – disconnected. Facebook is a poor substitute for actually living life and talking to real people.
The dissonance that is my life at the moment rocks hard against anything most people would consider normalcy. I’m not normal. I have no desire to be normal. My problem seems to be a lack of any desire. I don’t know what it is I do want.
Except maybe a new kitten. I’d take a new kitty.
I’m not exceptionally smart. I’m maybe slightly above average. My memory is both a blessing and a curse. I can remember insane amounts of details about seemingly irrelevant things. I become obsessed with solving certain riddles. This causes a lot of strife for my head and my heart both.
If I can direct that at something work related, I tend to come out ahead. That doesn’t happen often anymore.
“I have the only key to your heart, I can stop you falling apart, Try today, you’ll find this way
Come on and give me a chance to say, Let my love open the door, It’s all I’m living for”
― Pete Townsend