Editing is the perfect blend of math and art. Timing is everything. Feeling the rhythm of actors speaking (or not speaking), controlling that beat with the cuts, realigning reality to suit your patterns. All of this is made possible with editing and having several angles to work with, even if it’s only 2 shots. The best editing is invisible. When you don’t notice the cuts and it isn’t fancy, that’s when people are immersed in a story. That’s the main goal in most cases; to get people to just have voluntary suspension of disbelief and be a part of the movie.
I always say (and believe) that no one part of making a movie is more important than another. My two favorite parts are working with actors (rehearsal and the shoot) and editing. Editing is about shaping performance, so it’s all related to the actors.
Sometimes editing is being a monkey pressing buttons. Other times it is being a true collaborator, as in one of the primary storytellers. I have no problem with either one. It’s the job. I love this job. Lately I’ve gotten the chance to work with new people and old friends on projects. Some paid, some volunteer.
Sadly, I’m still in a state where I don’t know where I fit in anymore. I’m not a whole person, nor have I ever been a peg that fits any hole that I know of. I’m an island, lost somewhere at sea. I’m not 100% comfortable in my own skin, and aside from my Assistant Editor named Vladimir who sits upon the editing desk to keep me sane, I don’t know where on Earth I might ever belong.
Maybe I had my time. Maybe I’m out of place in time. Perhaps the rest of my time will be spent like this, an eternal dissonance against the society I find myself in, never fully an artist or technician.
I really really need to get back to my work this week. I’m not motivated. Nothing seems to excite me at the moment. What has always saved me before is diving in and just making it happen regardless.
Being hammered by my health in the last week did nothing for my attitude towards life. Blood tests, biopsies, and a lot of uncertainty combined with copious amounts of blood loss don’t exactly inspire me to do work. Thankfully, the bleeding has curbed to a halt. It’s the bigger questions that remain.