Too much happens in so short a time. Still, the two possible directions of my future continue to loom before me and options on both roads present themselves. In the meantime I have managed to open the door on completing the two projects I really wanted to get done before the new year, a short film and also another Framelines Interactive Tutorial. I cannot believe how lucky I am sometimes. I am considering going back to college. I need my degree which I have not gotten. Some amazing opportunities are there for me. I can use “life experience” to get class credit. The most hilarious part is that the college I am trying to attend handed me an assignment to demonstrate my life skills with video. They handed me my own Framelines Interactive Raw Footage which I found really comical. How surreal is it to potentially be graded on something I wrote, directed, and created?
Now I need to meet with several people at this college to determine what this means, how much credit my work is worth in terms of hours towards graduation. It’s been over 20 years since I was at college and dropped out. I didn’t drop because of grades, simply I did not have enough money to finish. At this point, I have grant money that will pay for at least one full year of college, including tuition, books, and even living expenses.
That would get me a lot closer to my goal to be a full time film teacher. But I have another potential direction too. Things in that arena are also getting interesting. All of my passions open doors and I will not rush a decision, plus going to school to get this degree will not inhibit Plan B.
I’ve managed to be more productive in my time since the funeral for my brother. I still do not have the time I need or desire for getting everything I want done, nor to fully relax. When I do get to total chill, I become somewhat slothlike which is not great. There are no series to binge watch, but I did get out to see 3 movies in the theater in 1 week.
Instead, my available time is spent reorganizing, cleaning, and arranging. It’s like my subconscious prepares for some unseen future, hidden from my waking mind. It is as if whispers on the wind let my soul in on a secret, and I ride the wave on a board of acceptance.
My life keeps getting more and more interesting. For most of America, 2016 has really sucked. For me, 2016 has been one of the best on record. My cats are cohabitating peacefully, my career(s) head in bigger and better directions, my health has greatly improved, and I just can’t stop positive.
The cost for all the good comes high. My brother succumbing to brain cancer and what it has done to my family seems a rather unfair price for all the upswings in my life. Life has always been highs and lows, wins and losses. I accept my life for what it has been and what it will turn into.
“I got this feeling inside my bones
It goes electric, wavey when I turn it on
All through my city, all through my home
We’re flying up, no ceiling, when we in our zone
I got that sunshine in my pocket
Got that good soul in my feet
I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops
I can’t take my eyes up off it, moving so phenomenally
Room on lock, the way we rock it, so don’t stop
And under the lights when everything goes
Nowhere to hide when I’m getting you close
When we move, well, you already know
So just imagine”
– Justin Timberlake