Confidence is a hard thing to deal with. Having too much means you have negative connotations when your name is mentioned and not having enough means you aren’t going to get what you want in life. It’s a razor’s edge of an abstract concept that means so much to everyone. I exist with too much in some areas, not enough in others, and then just the right balance in a precious few places. One of the perks that comes with age is knowing what is important to you and what isn’t. My disdain for the petty and irrelevant make my daily life more tolerable. I just don’t care about the nonsense anymore. Rumors, speculation, and gossip within our little film community have no meaning to me.
After years of not writing about such things on this blog, people still occasionally look to see if there are any nuggets of that stuff. I even spur it on, in the most exaggerated way possible, when I post links to this blog.
I’m still having trouble making time to watch movies. Maybe it’s the obsessive compulsive tendencies, but with my new laptop sitting their with only half the software I need on it, I can’t concentrate on a movie or TV show until I get the rest installed. I am starting to think this OCD is more of a hindrance than a help. I need a healthy balance and this is the next hurdle in my life.
First I have to continue to lose weight and get healthy. Second I need to make more movies. Then I’ll tackle some obsessive compulsive problems.