I really thought I’d have more money before I’d earn the ire of some psychotics. In this day and age, social media reveals to us people who will eventually cause tragedies like Newtown or Virginia Tech or the Dark Knight Rises shooting. It’s just such an odd thing to witness such blatant psychological disorders. Why I get to be the focus of such attention, I still don’t get, but it happens. Whether it’s a psychopathic homeless person leaving me messages or a crazed aquarium installer who thinks he’s an international film reviewer, I am the center of their world. For some reason, I warrant the focus of multiple blogs, tweets, reviews (not film reviews mind you, a review of me as a person), and posts. I’m not gonna lie; it’s very weird to have other guys spend this much time thinking about and writing about me.
I’m not famous. I don’t have any particular significance in the film world, even locally, I’m no where near the top rungs these days. There are so many other people doing things more polished, better looking, and more entertaining, that I’m not even on my own top 20 list of filmmakers – in my own city.
So why am I the focus of all this negative attention? Apparently, people see me posting about FRAMELINES or my own short films, and they interpret that as automatic arrogance. Never ever have I ever written that I think something I’ve done is good, nonetheless great, especially not my first feature. In classes, when asked, I say that the film is not very good and I’ve learned a lot since then. I have.
As it is, I shouldn’t even acknowlege the crazy psychopaths that force their way in my view. I should be beyond it, but all I can think is that maybe if someone informed the police before those guys went nuts and killed a bunch of kids, they might have been spared. Or at least, the police will have an easier time finding whoever shows up at the next filmmaker meeting with a shotgun and shoots everyone.
I’ve had several contenders for the “Voted Most Likely to be Naked in a Clocktower with a Rifle” in high school guys become obsessed with me. Like this one guy, he has entirely manufactured an imaginary fight with me and others in the film community. The guy thinks quoting Thumper from Bambi is a threat.
That’s the kind of freakshow that will wind up strapping C4 to his body and showing up at the next MOFA meeting to hold people accountable for making movies that a nutjob narcissist thinks were made only for him. These kind of weak-willed, socially awkward people have found some special strength through the suit of armor the internet gives them. I just shudder to think about what happens when that crashes down and what they might be capable of.
I’m not ashamed to say, I’m scared like a little girl watching a horror film when I think about the unpredictable psychos with obsessions out there masturbating to a picture of me from Facebook, then writing angry blogs because they can’t handle their own homosexuality.
I wish they’d find a better target for their fixation. Like a hot chick or actually good looking guy, or something more logical.
I feel completely justified to be worried when you’re dealing with people who actively lie or bend the truth so far that it’s scary. Let’s see how you react when a nutjob who txt’s the entire crew of a film whatever crazed thoughts he’s having or emails asking people for money to get away from the cops because of girlfriend troubles – all that in a single person decides YOU are the focus of his attention, I’ll bet you won’t be as graceful.
“No certainty, nothing to rely on. Holding still for a moment. What a moment this is”
– Peter Gabriel