That was a productive and busy week. I worked until almost 11:00PM last night, just so that I could have 2 consecutive days of no work for anyone but myself. I have a few edits of my own to do, last Sunday’s shoot being the highest priority. We got everything synced yesterday, meaning interns did that whilst I worked on paid client work. During a break, we shot out my latest greenscreen podcast too. We’ll work on the edit for that next week, then I can do the animation for it. No shoot tomorrow, as I could not get enough prep work done, no location, nothing. I’m so tired and my brain feel like it was just put on the puree setting in a blender. I just need to chill out, watch a few movies (Hobbit extended edition? Yes please), and clean.
I bought a new desk and corner desk for my basement several weeks ago and they sat in boxes in my office. Got them to New Rossdonia last night, which means a massive re-arrangement and rewiring of all of the extensive computer and home theater components. This ain’t a quick job.
My old desk is being donated to the school where I teach for the edit bay, to go with the PC I donated with a legit copy of the full Adobe CS3 Creative Suite. They need a proper desk to look like a real edit suite. Unfortunately, it’s not a tax deductible donation, not that a $129 desk would do a lot for my taxes.
I keep hoping that things will slow down for my mind’s sake, but the constant income helps a lot. I shan’t complain too loudly. It’s going to pay for a lot of life’s little bumps. Not being destitute is something I am thankful for even though I work hard for that.
Someone wrote me a nice message yesterday. She said she was rooting for me. I have several friends in the blogosphere, most of which don’t write to me, but they’re clearly reading and watching my struggle to get back on my feet. I haven’t given up yet. I’m holding on to something and I don’t have a clue what it is.
Something or someone keeps me moving forward. I literally and figuratively keep on swimming. My OCD won’t let me quit on life until I finish my projects, so suicide ain’t an option.
“Each morning I get up I die a little. Can barely stand on my feet. Take a look in the mirror and cry. Lord what you’re doing to me. I have spent all my years in believing you”