I can’t wait until my vacation next month. To Florida I go. A week of pretty much nothing but sitting under a palm tree and not having anything resembling stress is the plan. I am also booked as a guest speaker at a convention for Public Access early next month. I have been hard at work duplicating all of our FRAMELINES episodes and CLIPFRAMES for whatever educable channels anywhere that want the shows. Expanding our audience can never be a bad thing, not for our sponsors or the subjects of our stories. I guess pushing through this kind of depression and continuing to work, shower, and eat is more normal than not. I have no idea what compels me to keep going. My thought process has been fairly dark of late, as if readers of this blog needed a reminder of THAT….
I’m not too particularly close to anyone these days. Because of my social tendencies to be somewhat insensitive to what other people consider important, as well as not wanting to be a burden to most people, I’ve cut myself off. I’ve been in this social coma, parallel to my depression, for 2-3 years now.
Today might have been a breakthrough though. I pulled a prank, one of my slightly creative ones, at the school. I rather enjoy picking on people, in that rather 3rd grade harmless way. I started a contest to get the best quote on an incredibly ridiculous photo of one of my fellow instructors. I used to do things like this much more often. I had posted flyers of Lionel Richie asking “[i]Is it me you’re looking for?[/i]” and managed to blame someone else for it.
Creative time wasting is not as much of a waste as it might seem. Getting creativity going, escalating, can sharpen one’s mind. Keeping the neurons firing on all cylinders and making the brain working harder more often spurs the creative center.
Anyways. I’m hoping that a nice 10 day vacation, a break from everything will help. It sucks I won’t be able to take the cats with me. Last time I was gone for a week, Vladimir Jack Bauer took 6 weeks to forgive me. I gotta get away for a bit, recharge the batteries, and relax. I’ve been through a lot this year.