The internet causes a strange psychology, but I guess age has certain benefits, at least in terms of perspective. Being a filmmaker and understanding the underlying psychological affects and intent, especially of words, means not being bothered by insults. Hurling epitaphs has little to no affect on me. Someone saying “You suck!” or “You’re an idiot!” really doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t get upset by it at all. If someone online (or even in person) wants to tell me they hate my movies and I’ll never make it in this industry, I simply don’t understand how that is supposed to deter me or carry any weight.
People connect words together to affect a response. If you know going in, they don’t like you and/or your movies, then you can’t really expect them to say nice things. When someone tosses out the “f” word, you can pretty much guarantee that the have the intent to try to upset people. Language is a powerful tool, but so few people use it well or comprehend the intent behind the words.
Sometimes in life you have to deal with irrational, unintelligent people. They force their way into your path and you get forced into having to attempt communication. These altercations always seem to be destined to end miserably.
One of my greatest weaknesses tends to be not being gentle or polite when faced with ignorance, stupidity, and arrogance, since I have an abundance of all three myself. Usually, the outcome is someone attempting, as hard as their tiny minds can, to figure out what words will upset me. People are limited to their own experience, so they end up saying what would hurt their own feelings the most. Since they know not anything of their opponent, I rarely have anything in common with troglodytes, cretins, or curs, they don’t really have much luck.
Am I supposed to not know I am overweight? I’m fat. It doesn’t really send me to the gym because some moron says “you’re fat!” no matter how emphatic or colorful. I’m not that young anymore. I’m 39 years old and I’m starting to feel old. So saying someone is a “bitter old man” is not an insult, but an ironic statement of fact since I directed a movie called Bitter Old Man.
Insulting my movies or career is equally bereft of much insult. I’m where I put myself career-wise. I am doing what I want when I want to. I’m not really working on anyone else’s scale or time, so if you’re disappointed (or impressed) with my mole-hill of accomplishments, that has little or no affect on where I want to be and what I’m doing to achieve my goals.
More rudimentary insults, especially things like “you’re a fag!” say a lot more about the person saying it than me. Given the breadth of impressive people I know who are homosexuals; that’s more of a compliment, although I don’t know of too many gay men that find a hairy, balding, fat guy with poor hygiene to be attractive.
Maybe that’s why I am such a challenge in many ways to serial insulters online. There’s not a lot that can be said of myself that actually means anything. I don’t get upset at insults. I guess if they were someone who actually met me, knew me, and they were friends, and then sure it would hurt. But from complete strangers, or people who read what I write online only, then their intent is so transparent that nothing they say or write will have any real venom.
I guess I’m just mystified at feeble, weak attempts to “get under my skin”. The only problem is I fixate on how stupid, ignorant people function in society or how I feel there should be tax rebates on public education when it fails specific people so badly.
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