Sometimes I forget how much Karma can have the upside as well as the down. As I wake from this hazy fog of depression, there are good things around me if I just open my eyes to it. If I do good things for other people it can pay back from somewhere else. I feel like the suffering over the last several years and trying to do good for one person pays out like a casino in life, even if that person has no appreciation for what I did. The universe does, so it all works out. Overcoming certain fears dominates my immediate future. Fear of not making something at the bar I set for myself. Fear of not having the support team I have had in the past and don’t quite have all the way right now. A select few fill that gap now and that’s more than enough for me to get over the fear.
Next up for me is the completion of several projects on the slate. Maybe it’s the Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies, but I have a lot of trouble moving on without completing the tasks I set for myself. That goes for my personal and professional life both.
At least I’m making money now. Since my big life change over the last few months, some of my expenses increased, but others have decreased. My utilities are a fraction what they used to be. My gas and electric bills are down over 60% every month.
I need a peace of mind before I can return securely to filmmaking. Things lately have been making that a reality. The universe points the way back to my first true love, making movies. The script to ACCIDENTAL ART feels like a winning lottery ticket I’ve been sitting on, waiting to cash it out.
Since taking on a producer for the film, things have made some serious traction almost in spite of me and my personal hurdles. For that I am grateful that someone takes up the slack. I’ve got to get back in the game, not in the social circles or political arena of our film community, but simply making movies.
I believe that filmmaking is like playing an instrument – you have to practice to get good. I like to rehearse before the big show, so here come some Cell Phone Monologues and other video projects to warm up before tackling a feature film.
Time is of the essence. Time is also the subject of a small project to come soon.