Buried in edits, freelancing and doing work and doing favors. I am never fully at rest. Taking the summer “off” has been one of the busiest times of my professional life. I did an edit for one client for a full day, taught for 4 hours, went home and edited on a TV spot for another 3 hours. The one huge boon is cash money. I want to stockpile some money away as savings and for some more responsible adulty items. Growing up sucks. 
The list of things I want to do for myself sits there in an imaginary pile and I pretend to ignore it. Those projects don’t exist. And then I feel too horrible to watch too many movies or TV shows that are in my queue because of what I should be working on even though I decided I won’t.
At the same time, I am enjoying the sunsets in a chair on my deck. I am eating well (too well as my gout has gotten worse because of the rich foods). I am feeling fairly relaxed overall. I just know that this time will end soon and I will itch to get back to work and I won’t be able to help myself but scratch at some point.
I need a true vacation this year too. It’s been almost 3 years since the last one. If things continue as they have, I will be able to this fall because I am making enough money to take the time off. Freelancing means no paid vacations. It’s a trick to pull off a vacation out of town that doesn’t involve working in a shoot.
“You are the spark that lit the fire inside of me
And you know that I love it
I need to do just something to get closer to your soul
And you do know that I want to”
– Michael Jackson
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