Back from Florida. What an incredibly relaxing, non-stressful journey. I conquered a big fear for myself. I have a genuine phobia of swimming alone, even in a pool. If I am in the water alone, I panic and some overwhelming need to get out of the water takes me and I freak out. I can put it aside as long as there is someone else in the pool somewhere. When I was 6 years old, I saw JAWS for the first time and within a few weeks of that my brother was attacked by jellyfish swimming in the Atlantic ocean off of Florida. I remember seeing the blue tentacles attached to his back, his arms, and his legs when they dragged him out of the water.
When I was 10 I tried to conquer my fear by swimming in the ocean when we were in Hawaii. I used goggles and saw a shark. I haven’t put more than my feet in seawater ever since.
This past week, I swam in the ocean for 3 days in 80 degree weather. I even swam all alone because the beaches weren’t too busy this time of year. It wasn’t even like I set out to beat this; I simply had a notion to swim in the waves. So I did. I didn’t think much on it, just did it.
I don’t know if this is a continuation of my not caring about anything or some kind of improvement. It felt good, at least it was less numb as everything has felt these last several months. All I do know is that I’m not done on this Earth just yet.