The difficulty of maintaining inspiration evades at times. My health keeps nosediving, derailing my energy and focus. It’s nothing too serious, lads not to worry. Enough to knock me down, just not for the count. Scripting continues on the short film next on my deck. Looking like a January shoot date instead of by the end of this year. Artwork being created too, cannot wait to see some of it soon. 
Trying to stay “up”, as it can be so hard. I am realizing I have not had a week off from everything since 2012, almost to the day. It was November that year as my last vacation. I have worked at least a few days a week minimum and always at home or around town for 3 years without stopping.
Right now, I have some paid projects to finish. About a week to a week and a half worth of edits t wrap up and then I am planning on taking some real time to recharge my batteries. I may or may not go somewhere for a few days. I can afford it a bit if I really wanted to.
Or I can take the time to relax at home, clean thoroughly before winter sets in. Watch a lot of movies, maybe a few marathons of STAR WARS, HOBBIT/LORD OF THE RINGS, or find another great TV series to binge watch. The last one I did really got my candle burning, called LUTHER from the BBC in the UK. I watched 2-3 episodes a night for a week and loved every second of that. If anyone doubts that Idris Elba could play James Bond clearly never saw this series.
I’m no where near depressed. I’m something above content, but “happy” is not a word I would use either. I’m trying to shake the novacaine out of my soul. I know I want to live, I just don’t have the biggest reasons before me. It will come to me in time. I just have to stay open to opportunities and ideas.
People have been odd to me lately. People I have known vaguely or acquaintances have made efforts to let me know they enjoy my company. I feel somewhat more social, if unintentionally in the last few weeks. I noticed it a few months ago as well in that I am more open, accessible and less closed off to people when I talk to them.
I am burned out from work. That is clear to me. My energy is cloudy because of the haze of always feeling tired, pressure from deadlines, singe on the edges from doing things over and over again. It is definitely time for a break from it all.
“Battered and torn
Still i can see the light
Tattered and worn
But i must kneel to fight
Friend of mine
What can’t you spare
I know some times
It gets cold in there
When my legs no longer carry
And the warm wind chills my bones
I reach for mother mary
And i shall not walk alone
Hope is alive
While we’re apart
Only tears
Speak from my heart
Break the chains
That hold us down
And we shall be
Forever bound
When i’m tired and weary
And a long way from home
I reach for mother mary
And i shall not walk alone”
– Ben Harper
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