I need less stress. So much in my life right now just wants to rip me apart. My body fails me. People disappoint me. I let myself down too. I cling to tiny moments, those wonderful bits where time stands still and joy enters. It could be something so simple as a kitten licking my beard, or tasting the perfection of flavors of Coca Cola mixed with tomato sauce on the toasted crust of Pizza from my old home town, or even the smile of a woman in the car next to me on the road. Even when 99% of my time creates a misery, I take solace in these brief moments of joy. If only I could encapsulate that in a short movie.

Location scout on Friday, shoot on Sunday. I’m looking forward to getting back in the saddle yet again. Actors, cameras, crew, and me doing what I do. Because of how busy and ill I have been, my instinct was to cancel and reschedule but I will NOT do it. Not this time. I’ve got to push through the haze, and make myself do it.

The mundane activities of finances and real estate occupy my free time. That and two tiny kittens that I need to place soon or they will embed in my heart like feline sleeper cells. The rotten little things do nothing but purr and play non stop. They sleep on my head and back, occasionally stopping to kiss my face or lick my beard.

My odd work and teaching schedules along with illness have completely wrecked my workout schedule. I don’t have a 24 hour gym, so it’s on the wayside, but I shan’t give up on that either. I’m itching to lift and swim.

Whatever I have to do to keep myself in a better place. I promise you I will fail, but I also promise to pick myself up and try to do better.


“Regrets collect like old friends, here to relive your darkest moments”
― Florence + the Machine

Categories: blog

Peter John Ross

A filmmaker, a dreamer, and the world's only Dan Akroyd Cosplayer


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