Did my guest speaking at the Upper Arlington High School yesterday. I love teaching. I say that a lot, but it’s a very affirming vocation to me. I teach part time already and it never feels like enough. I don’t intend to sound arrogant, but I’m a good teacher. I’m NOT a great filmmaker, as I’m probably passable at best, yet I do feel I am good at disseminating information in a way that is palatable and understandable to a majority when it comes to making movies. You would think that makes the path for my future so easy to choose. Go back to college, get my masters and start teaching. Except it doesn’t feel as likely given my other options, which pull on me just as hard.
I’m staring at the crossroads. Unfortunately, there exists another obstacle that trumps all and I cannot commit to any other decision until it is overcome. Argh! I’m stuck without any forward momentum for the time being.
And yet, I feel this same joy, the inexplicable jubilation that keeps me happy for now. I’m not questioning it, as I don’t care what it is as long as it stays with me. I know a part of it is getting my personal work done at a rate heretofore unseen in years for me. Creation. Getting it seen and getting response to it, that’s what it is all about. That is life, isn’t it?
I am obsessed with this album by actress Melanie Laurant from Inglorious Basterds that she did with Irish folk singer Damien Rice. I keep playing the album over and over and I don’t even speak a word of French, although half the album is in English. I love that sometimes I can let a song take my soul away to some other place, far away from the worries of this one.
Dropped off the latest 3 episodes for FRAMELINES to the station. Felt great. I remember watching a video for Star Wars Episode II when they shot in HD (on Panavised Sony F900 series HDCAM on tape). I remember how revolutionary that was in 2000-2001 during principal photography. In one of the pre-YouTube webdocs, they showed the 2nd assistant editor walking HD tapes from set to the dub room, to the 1st assistant editor, then passing the footage over to the editor. I always dreamed of workflows and having material to work with, especially my own.
Sometimes I forget; few things in life will equal the realization that you are doing what you love. I’m living the dream.
“Un baiser sur une table, et deux trois grains de sable. Des tartines de miel, aucun nuage au ciel.”
– Melanie Laurant